Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
