i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
