Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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