I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
