I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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