Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
