you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
