3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
