I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
