I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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