How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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