maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
