We need to start having sex underwater more often.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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