He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
