just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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