Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
