I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize