If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
wow bdsm is so cute
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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