I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
