just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
