I just threw up on my dentist
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
