You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Fuck me I smell like cheese
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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