hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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