I must be too annoying 4 u.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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