omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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