She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
