Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
