her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
