thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
