shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize