Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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