Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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