hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
