Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
