dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize