It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
