Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
