then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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