I got chris browned last night
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
