If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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