never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
this hospital has no fireball
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
