ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize