just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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