I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
