Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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