he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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