Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
