wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
