He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
