that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
