I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize