so explain again why im purple
no
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
