dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
