I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize