hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
