I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
