the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
