Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
