I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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