Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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