Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
