So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
