He is an equal opportunity slut.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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