I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
