I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
